jennifer hanigan

a pinch of this and a dollop of that

Word Games

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I just swiped right on someone because his profile included the statement, “will never send a phallic image.”

Literally, this is the level of standards the men of the world have driven me to: won’t send a dick pic? Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Lest you think I’m just being dramatic, just this very morning I received a game request on Words With Friends. My opponent got quickly to the point:


Because how can we possibly play Scrabble without pictures, amiright?  And, if you think today’s dudebro is an aberration, witness this particularly persistent specimen:

luis 1

Bro, do you even spell?  Because this is a word game. (I worried that those ‘every man should talk to his woman like Derek talks to Penelope’ memes might have this effect.)

luis 2

And here he blatantly ignores my statement, and throws in a kiss. Because, you know, that makes it okay for him to force his tripe on me.

luis 3

So, I’m not sure here if he’s comparing me to a restaurant in which Gordon Ramsay takes out three lifetimes of frustration on innocent cooks, or a rapidly gentrifying Manhattan neighborhood. Is he saying I’m hot property? Hard to tell. Definitely not the best compliment I’ve ever received, even when I was looking to receive one.

luis 4

Ah, I see, it’s not his fault. I must be lying when I say I don’t want his crap. He can tell I want it. Because reasons. (and I was kicking his ass because he passed nearly every move, and played three letter words the rest of the time)

luis 5

Well yes, if you call this hitting on me, yes I do.  And after apologizing, you turn right around and keep on keeping on.  I’m guessing someone told you persistence was the way to a woman’s heart?  Hint: They were wrong.

I nearly responded to this apology, because we’re trained to do that. I’m kind of glad I bade my time, though, because it turned out he didn’t mean it. There was an additional “come on, luscious temptation” sent late that evening, as well.

I feel like this kind of crud is the digital equivalent of catcalling women on the street. Not an inkling of respect or in any way treating us as human; just foisting sexualization upon us for their own amusement. Ick. Guys, if we’re walking down the street, it’s because we’re trying to get someplace. And if we’re playing WWF, it’s because we like Scrabble. That’s all.




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